Grab a scrap of paper and a pen and write down very briefly and generally your top ten erotic fantasies.
Have you done it?
Good. Now let’s compare.
According to AskMen.com, women’s top ten fantasies are just as raunchy as men’s. No surprise there. I’ve always maintained that we women have much dirtier minds than men do. Unfortunately, we’ve been socialized on a huge diet of guilt and self-doubt where sex is concerned. The good news is we’re doing our best, in spite of the opposition, to overcome.
Most of the top shelf erotica now in main stream book stores, as well as online, is erotica written for, and by women, and a lot of it blends great story-telling with blow-your-hair-back, burst-into-flame, nuclear sex. If you want the skinny on what goes on in our very dirty minds, women’s erotica is the place to look, and what a fun place it is!
So here it is. According the AskMen, the list of fantasies in reverse order are: dominating and being dominated, teacher/student, sex with a stranger, threesomes - MFM, FMF, voyeurism, force fantasies, exhibitionism, private dancer.
There they are, ladies, our faves. How accurate is the list? I can only speak for myself, but based on the women’s erotica I’ve read, and written, I was surprised to find being a private dancer at the top of the list. I was equally surprised that girl-on-girl wasn’t on the list. I would have also expected to find spanking and punishment in the mix, although I’m sure most of us can slot those in nicely in the teacher/student category, or dominating and being dominated.
Most of the fantasies on Ask Men’s list (and a fair few not on the list) I have written about in my short fiction and in The Initiation of Ms Holly. I’m not sure how Ask Men came up with their list, but based on the women’s erotica I’ve read and written, my list would have been similar. How about yours?
IN OTHER NEWS: A big BOOOO goes out to Facebook this week for deleting the 3,000 + member sex-positive women’s empowerment group, “Our Porn, Ourselves” founded by Violet Blue. Sadly, the above-mentioned opposition we women are constantly battling is alive and well.
Taking back our sexuality and owning and understanding it is an ongoing battle, one in which, unfortunately, we women are often our own worst enemies. Asertions aren't facts, and zeal is no substitute for truth. Thanks, Suzanne Forbes and Carnal Nation for reminding us.
Saturday, 24 July 2010
Thursday night was the big launch of the long awaited Sh! Women's Erotic Emporium Portobello Store, and it was even more fun than anticipated! If there was a theme to the evening, I'd have to say it was girl power. It always amazes me how strong and appealing women are when they're comfortable in their own skin and comfortable with their own sexuality. And Thursday night's launch was definitely a gathering of powerful, sexy women.
It was great fun browsing the latest and coolest toys and books and chatting with my fellow erotica writers as well as the actresses and burlesque beauties. The who's who of girl power extraordinaire also included Suraya Sidhu Singh, editor-in-chief of Filament Magazine as well as Sarah Berry, Editor of Foreplay Magazine, formerly Forum.
The amazing, Kay Jaybee read her hot story, 'Searching for Her,' from Violet Blue's award-winning erotic anthology for couples, Sweet Love Definitely an anthology to add to your collection. The fabulous Scarlet French read her story, 'In the Garden of Eden ' from the anthology, Fantasy: Untrue Stories of Lesbian Passion , a sexy fantasy inspired by her time working as a Sh! girl. I hear Scarlet is about to launch her exciting new website.
In addition to hot stories read by hot chix, we all got to enjoy Delores Deluxe and Tempest Rose from the fabulous Kitten Club Burlesque Cabaret I have it on good authority that Delores is going to be teaching classes for Sh! very soon. Definitely sign me up! Three words -ostritch feather fans!
Of course, for me, the highlight of the evening was my chance to give a titilating taste of my novel The Initiation of Ms Holly It was exciting to finally share a little bit of the story that I've been living with in my head for the last year, and to such an appreciative audience. It was my chance to proudly parade Rita and Edward and introduce them to some really good friends -- all of whom seemed to agree that chocolate and sex are definitely a good combo. Remember, you can pre-order your copy of The Initiation of Ms Holly on Amazon now.
Sorry there are no photos of all the fun at Sh! Portobello, but as with any new venture, there are always a few glitches. Just as Kay Jaybee was starting her reading, the lights went out -- only downstairs where the entertainment was. Upstairs where people milled about browsing the hot selection of books and sex toys and corsets and boas and whips and...sigh, well you get the picture, the lights were fine. As it turned out, an evening's entertainment of sexy stories, and burlesque by lamp and candle light was very atmospheric -- especially when accompanied with lots of fizz and cup cakes!
Also beautifully present at the Sh! launch were the cast from the fabulous play, Five Clever Courtesans, written by the very talented Sarah Blake. Raymond and I were lucky enough to catch the Sunday night performance at the Vibe Bar on Brick Lane just before the ladies all head off to the Edinburgh Fringe, where the play is already rated number nine out of the top forty Fringe acts. No trouble seeing why! The play is witty, educational, sexy and very moving. Break a leg in Edinburgh, Courtesans!
Every time I visit Sh!, I make new friends and have a really great time. Thursday night was no exception -- with or without the lights. Thanks Sh! Chix, for a great time!